Although I should be ecstatic that my son is now home after serving fifteen months in Iraq, I can’t begin to describe how parents, wives, siblings, friends, and others who continue to have loved ones overseas feel. Each day I prayed that no troops were hurt or killed (each day I continue to pray until our last troop comes home). To this day more than 4,000 military members have been killed and that doesn’t count those who are permanently wounded, both physically and mentally. If each military member has four family members in their inner circle (this is just an arbitrary number - mother, father, sibling, or child) that is 160,000 individuals who have been negatively affected. If each of those 160,000 has four more family members, the total becomes 640,000. Exponentially, it becomes mind-boggling. This number is conservative. I have no tacit knowledge of how many lives have been affected.

     As a Psychologist, I also have no barometer to measure how my son has been troubled by the loss of more than 150 members of his unit (The Big Red One, Infantry Division from Fort Riley, Kansas). I have no barometer to measure how his psyche was affected when he was involved in the roadside bombing last year. I have no barometer to measure how he can overcome the constant gunfire, explosions, raids, and loss of life that will forever remain in his conscious and subconscious. I have no barometer to measure how he or others who have walked in those shoes will adjust. Some adjust, well some do not.

I do however appreciate the saliency of sustainable focus. Sustainable focus is how you get through the good times and the bad times. Sustainable focus is how you can conceptualize and begin to understand the unexpected loss of a dear friend (RIP Gregory Cross, you were always a beacon of light  http://www.savannahmenu.net/info_pages.php?pages_id=553 ). Sustainable focus is how you can maneuver the nuances of life whether they are negative or positive. Sustainable focus is being able to see the smile on my son’s face and the smile on his wife’s face. You too can have sustainable focus because there is always something that is positive in this world.

Cheers,

Dr. Judy

     On a recent trip to a large retail store, I witnessed an exchange that perplexed me. The cashier was flustered at the customer, who was flustered over the higher prices of food. The exchange was comical if not down right sad. The cashier told the customer that she had a bachelors degree in math and a masters degree in chemistry and was working as a cashier. The customer told the cashier that the three gallons of milk wouldn’t last the week.It was my turn. I smiled at the cashier (for those who know me, know I smile alot) and she began her tirade about how she hated her job. She was literally turning red as she spoke to me about her loathing for what she did. I then asked, why are you here? To this she replied, “I woke up one morning and my husband was disabled. No one would hire me because I have no real life experience. I needed a job just to eat, not lose my home, and the health benefits were a must”. To this I replied, “is it healthy that you obviously dislike and resent what you are doing. Is your health better because you are here? Why not look at teaching on-line so you can stay home and care for your spouse. With a masters in chemistry, you can definitely teach. Best of all, if you still want to work here while you are searching for your job, you can. Who are you networking with who can help you out”?Reference
American Psychological Association. (1999). How expectancies shape experience. Washington, DC.

Response expectancy has the capability for one of those ah-ha moments. More aptly, it is called a paradigm (not twenty cents). In psychology there is a relevance to a theoretical concept called expectancy theory. How expectancies shape experience determines how one automatically (through overt behaviors) or involuntarily (through negative self talk) respond to situations. If you expect that only Walmart will hire you, then Walmart is what you will get. The vicissitudes of life require that you set your goals as high as possible. Never ever give up. And for pete’s sake, if you are not happy with your life, do something positive (POSITIVE) and not destructive, to change your expectancies.

Cheers,

Dr. Judy Halliday

 I’m following up on the”First Things First” post where I discussed leaving the abyss of an unhappy life for a more fruitful one. Today I had several customers return specifically asking for me by name (this happens often). In the business I am known as simply Judy (and not as Dr. Judy). These customers have well over 200 stores to buy from in Savannah. However, they come back to our location. And not only do they come back, but they tell their friends and families. One such lady came by and said “aha I found you. Let me call my friend in Pennsylvania because she was here two years ago and bought something from you and wants one just like that”. I asked her what her friends name was. To this inquiry she replied Rebecca. At that point I said, oh I remember exactly what she purchased, let me look it up. While this new customer was dialing Rebecca, I had pulled from the archives the template for the item that was purchased two years ago (never mind that we sell millions of items in three states).

Do you follow what is happening? I have a repeat customer from two years ago who told a friend to stop by our location and purchase for her the same item for a different puppy. Not only did Jessica purchase Rebecca’s item, she purchased three additional items. I have added to our customer base and this makes me happy. This makes me so happy that I often tell friends I am self-actualized even when I stand behind a counter. Providing great customer service is the best return on investment because it costs nothing. All it costs is:

• a smile
• a mental note of your customer (Rebecca the red head from Pennsylvania)
• an emotional connection
• follow through with an email
• follow through with a phone call
• follow through from a request from a potential customer
• acknowledgement that they are present and special

     How many times have you experienced bad customer service? Have you returned to that location or that person? Put “First Things First”. Put the customer first and it will make you happy (via the bank account, via repeat customers, via self-actualization).

Cheers,

Dr. Judy Halliday

These individuals offer more marketing strategies to help you build a great customer base -

Charlie Cook

Smart Biz

And to all the SOB ’s, SOE ’s and Mega Bloggers, thank you for the how to’s on adding links. I’m learning

     Are you fast and fizzle or slow and deliberate? Imagine if you will how you are today. Now imagine how you were 2 years ago. Jump to the future and imagine yourself in 2 years. Don’t think about anyone else (kids, spouse, friends, etc.). Focus on yourself. Are you happy? Are you wasting time doing things that are not productive? What is stopping you from achieving what you want to achieve? Do I hear -

• I have way too much to do, and not enough time in the world to do it all.
• There is no balance between my personal life and career. It is like robbing from Peter to pay for Paul.
• Deep down inside, I feel empty.

     Where you are headed is more important than how fast you get there. It took me 10 ½ years to complete my B.S. Remember; I was a HS drop out. However, I never gave up and although career and family came along, I vowed to slowly and steadily complete my B.S. That was accomplished and 10 months later I had a Master’s degree. I was still under 30 and life was going good. But I was still empty inside and yearned for more. I questioned whether I would be able to pursue a Law degree or Doctorate degree. I had excuses- my career with the Department of Defense was flourishing. Why would I need a higher degree? Then I attended a Stephen Covey seminar “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, and I was never the same.

     Stephen R. Covey (with Roger Merrill and Rebecca Merrill) published “First Things First” a book that covers key strategies for your life compass. Remember, where you are going is more important than how fast you get there. No one on his or her deathbed ever said “I wish I would have spent more time at work”. I’ll continue blogging about simple strategies you can use to move from the abyss of your fragmented live, and into areas of happiness. And the best part is - it’s free.

Have any questions? Please feel free to ask.

Cheers,

Dr. Judy

ISBN 0-671-86441-6

This is my first attempt at loading a photo on a blog. I hope it works. This is Mr. Ninja. He is 12 1/2 years old and believes he is human. He intuitively knew that I was reading in the bathroom and hence opened the door. He also knew I was reading a book about cheese and mice. I say this because I take great solace in reading but he happens to genuinely know when the central character of a book has to do with animals or food. Some can say, that’s not a smart cat. But I’m sticking to my story and will not hem or haw (reference to the book Who Moved My Cheese in an earlier blog).  Hope you are able to view this phenomenal cat.

Cheers,

Dr. Judy

Cheers,

Dr. Judy Halliday

I attended with much enthusiasm the Savannah Unconference and here are the top 10 things I learned.

10) Flickr isn’t what happens when a candle has reached it’s end.

9) I must be ready with a camera. Next year I’ll whip out a disposable camera when a photographer aims a camera at me.

  I equate the RSS icon with the XM radio icon. All I could think of each time the acronym RSS was mentioned were the signing voices for each XM radio station mood.

7) Blogging may be a vehicle for introverts to find and speak their voice.

6) There are bloggers who want to get paid for what they do, and bloggers who want to have fun.

5) WordPress is free, Typepad is fee.

4) Still protected by the 1st Ammendement except for blatant defamation and inciting violence.

3) You can’t sell products- However you can blog, blog, blog away and hope the reader gets the hint.

2) My ponytail was crooked and my roots need a touch-up. Thank you photogs for posting pictures on flickr and making me realize that I need a hair appt. asap.

1) There are so many code words (html, usb, trackback, cache [not cash], moblogging, vlog, blog,) my head is in a FOG and this blogging is a new psychological construct.

These lessons from a Newbie in the blog world.

 Cheers,

Dr. Judy Halliday

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is my first post. The world will never be the same!